these lights define us
Contemplating
Lately I’m not dreaming, so what the point in sleeping? It’s just that at night, I’ve got nowhere to hide. To the sleepless this is my reply, I will write you a lullaby.
School is making it harder for me to sit down and write. I truly miss it and I’m going insane. My goal is to write every day so I can get back on the same page with myself…if that even makes sense…
I know I am not alone in this. Plenty of people love the wrong person. Or maybe the right person but at the wrong time because those suckers, they come back later. But then you don’t have romantic feelings for them by then because you’ve spent a great deal of energy getting yourself to think of…
WOW. Could not have said it better myself. Damn.
98 notes (via ireadintothings)
tweak
I wanna be an astronaut, get high.
Break the barrier of sound into the sky.
Just wanna be free,
from the confines of gravity.
—playradioplay!
My head is swimming with thoughts right now. So much to say but too many other ideas slow down the thought process…if that makes sense. My current obstacle is getting over the bullshit my ex put me through. My goal is to let it go; accept it, make peace with it, and move the fuck on. I can’t dwell on the past. I need to focus on the present! I need to put forth as much effort as possible to improve myself and prove myself to others. I need to continue to work on my self-confidence. I need to be on my own side, and not as my own worst enemy. I also need to assess why I take certain actions. I can’t use substances to improve my mood artificially and do harm to my body. Well…I shouldn’t at least. If anything, I can learn moderation from it.
I also want to write more often. I have so many emotions, thoughts, opinions, worries, etc. that I should record and reflect on. I need to keep my mind sharp and continue to work on different parts of my writing style. I’d like to try writing more poetry and prose, but I’m afraid of letting others read it. More confidence and belief in myself will come with practice.
I’d like to exercise and meditate more to get in shape and remain active. I want to improve my stamina and be able to run a ten minute mile. I want to incorporate more nature in my life as well, because it is an important environment for me to dwell in often. Sunlight is healthy for you and it also increases endorphins, which is very beneficial. I’d like to assess myself in an unbiased way so I can make improvements on myself and grow in a positive way.
It would be ideal for me to write in my journal every day so I can destress and express my frustrations, excitements, and problems. This way I will be in a more neutral state of mind instead of a negative one.
Passion Pit is my new favorite band; I’m obsessed. They are fucking PERFECT. Every song is catchy and the lyrics are phenomenal. I want to listen to them every day so I can have a happy outlook or beginning of the day and for more positivity in general.
Note to Self: Look up writing tips and writing exercises to practice writing skills and styles.
buried myself alive…time to uncover
I’m letting me be myself. I refuse to apologize for any part of my personality that offends people. Because I’m sick of getting stepped on, of being used, of being dragged through the mud. I’m too nice and generous for my own good. I put others before myself, only to get pushed and pulled around by them for their amusement. I’ve been too naive, and it sucks to realize it, but it’s time for me to grasp it and move on.
This is me standing up for myself. This is me not taking it any more. This is my “fuck you” to every goddamn last person that has hurt me, used me, or fucked me over. I will not be moved. I will soar higher than you’ve ever dreamed. Watch me shine, motherfuckers.
This is the happy me. It’s so good to be back.
573 notes (via peyote-princess & theuniverseworks)
“…Seems like I’ve done something wrong. Let that punishment come, hide the sun, I don’t give a fuck.”
I listen to this song when I’m in the acceptance/breakdown phase of a realization or event.
